


Missing Maxwell

by atlas_is_bad_news



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Break Up, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 12:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlas_is_bad_news/pseuds/atlas_is_bad_news
Summary: Jacobi is mourning Maxwell, Kepler couldn't care less.





	Missing Maxwell

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is kinda an exploration of the inner thoughts of the characters while things happen. Spoilers of season 4 onwards. I've got other wolf 359 fics too and more coming so if yer so inclined, check em out! 
> 
> (( Also just in case, this fic does include quotes and references from the actual wolf scripts. I know this, and I am not attempting to pass those off as my own ideas. ))

Jacobi had never been this hurt before. Maxwell was a good person, everything he should have been and more. She was smart and adoring and more intelligent than everyone here, combined. They had been through hell together and back, she was his constant. She was the only one who really understood him. She was the Goddard with out the murderous twisted ideas. She was the reason he joined, Jacobi saw the good in Goddard, the company had helped small businesses and built up hopeless people. Alana Maxwell had been the good in Goddard. 

In one week, Maxwell had been shot in the head by Minkowski. Jacobi had met himself in deep space and hadn't slept since. He had blown Hilbert to bits to get revenge. Hera was getting too smart for her own good, it was only a matter of time. Lovelace was dead...then not...He wasn't sure. Kepler was responsible. Jacobi knew that Kepler put Maxwell in the line of fire, Kepler didn't tell them what they needed to know, Kepler put them all into a plan then told no one what it was. This was his doing. Jacobi didn't care about the bigger picture, he knew Maxwell deserved to be alive, and maybe he didn't. Thanks to his memories of her, Jacobi had been able to take the Hephestas hostage and it's crew members too. 

Two birds one bullet. Minkowski would have to live with the guilt of killing someone else, someone who could have helped them. And Kepler would be dead, the world would be better. Jacobi tried to convince himself that his world would be better without Kepler in it. His world would be better without those hands, those soft lips, those careful touches and kisses, that rough breathy growl in his ear from behind. Jacobi ruffled a hand through his own hair to rid himself of the thoughts. He looked at Kepler in front of him, calm as always. But there was a look in his eyes, the same look Jacobi had in his eyes when he heard the shot that killed Maxwell echo through the station. 

Kepler was still in a state of confusion. Was this some kind of elaborate plan from Jacobi to let them take over the station again? It had to be, right? Jacobi was faithful for years to Goddard and to his bosses, he wouldn't do this now. There were so many opportunities to take control again, 2 against 4 was difficult but 2 highly skilled agents against 4 confused second grade workers. With him and Jacobi together this would be simple. But here they were, Jacobi with his feet up on the desk, arms folded and expression grim, Minkowsk had her gun aimed at Kepler’s head. 

Jacobi did this. His dear Jacobi wanted to kill him. 

To tell a long story short; sensible Minkowski had talked him out of it. Jacobi still wanted him dead, frozen in space floating nowhere. He wanted to watch the blood trickle from the bullet wound in his skull. 

Kepler felt betrayed. The boy he'd held in his lap and treasured had tried to kill him over the small matter of business. Maxwell was collateral damage, a shame for sure, but she wasn't part of the bigger picture. Kepler was honestly surprised that Jacobi had such an emotional response to the death of a chess piece like her. He never thought that an agent like dedicated Jacobi, who had killed thousands already in casual terrorism, would care so much for a girl. Kepler was his boss, his guidance, Jacobi should be grateful he was alive, should be grateful that his boss was alive. His lover. But No, the ungrateful dickbag tried to kill him. 

Jacobi was numb and angry at the same time. Maxwell's death had gutted him, stolen everything inside him so all that was left was an empty husk of a man. He had seen death before, caused it, but the moment when he knew Maxwell had died would stay with him forever. The ache in his heart was unlike anything he had ever felt before, his whole body still hurt, more so when he thought of her. He felt like he was going slowly insane, every waking moment he replayed the pain in his head over and over. And he never really slept enough to get a break from it, whenever he laid down to get some rest his mind began to wander, he would hear his own voice again, begging to be let in from the cold. He could feel his team's eyes on him again, judging him. Was he the real Jacobi? Could he be trusted? Who was out there with Jacobi's voice? It haunted him. He closed his eyes and he felt himself freezing to death without any air, begging to be let in, slamming on the sides of the station, dying slowly. He felt replaced. He was the real Jacobi, he knew that, the psi waves would have killed him by now if he wasn't. But the thought of something out there with his voice and his body and his fears, it was enough to keep him awake each night. It had been months since he had a full nights sleep. Jacobi used to spend those dreamless sleep cycles sprawled over Kepler's bed. Shaking in his arms as the thoughts of that day resurfaced. Kepler would hold him, strong hands on his waist (back when he had two to hold him with). He found Jacobi's uncharacteristic vulnerability attractive to say the least. Kepler was a man of power, and to have a subordinate quivering and screaming awake night after night in his bed from fear, surrounded by his things, in his territory, it gave him power. He fed off of that power. But Jacobi had taken that power from him in one death threat. He felt humiliated and he hated it so much. How dare he. 

Jacobi eventually stopped sneaking into Kepler's room after Maxwell died. He preferred to spend each night staring at the ceiling until his body gave up, rather than giving Kepler the satisfaction of thinking they were close enough still to sleep side by side. He often thought if Kepler missed him, then supposed he didn’t. Kepler didn’t have a compassionate cell in his body, never mind enough to notice Jacobi wasn’t there anymore. Hopefully the threat to charge a metal bullet through his brain was enough to make Kepler notice him. Life was fairly uneventful in the station when considering the relationship of the two.  
Alien contact had been reached with their friends from the star. Eiffel was missing, presumed dead considering there were no readings of him anywhere. They were all gathered in the main control room trying to find Eiffel, Hera was calculating projectories to aim for, Lovelace was running around getting equipment, Jacobi was doing all the hard work while Minkowski yelled orders and Kepler sat looking smug. Jacobi knew that Eiffel was a goner. Then it was the sirens and the warnings and the worried faces. And it was Hera being hacked into and controlled remotely. The others all panicked but Jacobi and Kepler knew what was happening. Goddard were coming, and it wasn’t going to be magic and sparkles and tea parties.  
He didn’t know how they found them or what they were going to do. Well he had a pretty good idea that they were going to kill him, and Warren, and everyone, it was just a question of how. As soon as he realised what was happening to Hera, Jacobi shared a look with Kepler. It was like all their last arguments and all that resentment had just washed away over them both. It was like coming up for air, the water around them both was the hatred and the pure rage Jacobi felt for Kepler, it was the grief and numbness and Maxwell’s happy smile. The stinging salt in his eyes was the way he knew Kepler felt, confusion and frustration, he had mourned the loss of his lover the same way that Jacobi had mourned Maxwell. Kepler had been feeling lonely, it was unusual for him, he seemed to have gotten used to having Jacobi at his side, not just in the subordinate way that was expected of him for his job position, but he also missed the smell of his hair and the way his body felt when it was curved to press against his own. He longed for Jacobi’s lips on his skin, the soft whines and moans that Kepler had gotten used to dragging out of him as he played with Jacobi’s body. Kepler missed having two hands to wind him up with. Instead he had a stump and Jacobi couldn’t even look at him. Their dispute was the water, and they both felt it run over and away from them as it dawned on them what was about to happen. It didn’t matter anymore, how they felt, none of it mattered. Goddard would kill them all, petty fights and shouting matches wouldn’t matter. 

Jacobi looked into Kepler’s eyes, he felt like crying, he had already surrendered. Kepler didn’t care for the others, you have to look after your own. Keep yourself alive Warren, then focus on Jacobi. You have to look after your own. 

Jacobi couldn’t help but think, well, at least he would be with Maxwell.


End file.
